Reconsidered Essays: Draft 1 & 2

Draft 1
Now to vent about the meaning of life. The meaning of life is the same thing the actual question and the questions answer. There is NONE. It's all answerless. There is to this question. There isn't even a question. It's almost funny to me. Just this whole thing. No one knows what the f*** they're doing here and no one even knows what question to ask to get the answer of what someone is doing here.
What's the meaning of life, what does that mean? I gues when I ask that question I mean what do you live for or what makes you happy. But what is happiness? What does someone live for, for their kids or something like that? Is that why we're all here? Because all our parents thought they needed something to live for or to make a "future?" For now I want to say - the meaning of life - is simply to see what will happen tomorrow. But what will you do to fill up time? What you enjoy? Or just whatever it that makes others happy.. what happens if what makes you happy doesn't make you any money? What are you supposed to do ... Because you never know what next day will bring, what if you decide you're going to do whatever it is that will make you enough money to live youre life the way you want and then when you get enough money to finally do what makes you happy you'll do that. Then, what if you die before that? Was it a waste of time to work towards a goal that never happend or was it a "meaningful" life just because you tried? I feel right that I'm almost worse off then when I started with a million more questions about the actual question and also, no closer to the answer to this question that barely exists.
WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? <- But then what the f*** does that question even mean? Sometimes I understand why people have religion. They know that they're here to serve god or whatever, they even know where they're going to end up, say , heaven or hell or wherever else their religion put them in the end. If only I could just believe that, or want to end spending eternity with Jesus if I was God servant... Oh man, I know this is f***ing scattered but it's the only way I can write about this topic. Again, a problem with the articulation - very frustrating! I'm mostly frustrated that everything in life that is most important to me or has the most affect on me as a person (death, mol, where this all ends up, why things are the way the are etc...) are the exact questions that no one will ever have a certain answer for.
And finally- WHy the f*** do I even feel this is important.Why does anyone need to even question this- we're here because we're here right? End of story. Can't I just live my life as a happy little robot? That would make this whole thing a whole lot easier. blahhhhhhhhhh

Draft2
With the unit coming to an end, I must now reflect and come up with my final ever changing answer to the meaning of life.

What the question means to me right now: What are you doing here on earth? What keeps you going everyday?

So, with that in mind, I will say that right now I am here to learn. I am here to learn about life and see where everyday brings me. Spend the small amount of time that we have here on earth to have an affect on something or someone, hopefully make a positive change in the universe, even if it's just being as aware as possible to what's going on around me. While making positive changes to the world, I can spend time with my family and people that I love, doing activities that I enjoy. At this moment I will say that you have to live your life in a way that you enjoy, don't do something because it's the right thing to do, do something because you BELIEVE it's the right thing to do. God, i am getting a little to corny for myself to handle. So here's my final answer as of this moment in time, live your life to the fullest possible in a way that makes you happy and positvily affects others.
My meaning of life definately does not say anything about doing homework at 4 in the morning, so that's my cue to exit.